Where You Invest Your Love

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Posted 9 hours ago

So I’m having one of my “moments” again… however this time it isn’t about feeling content, it’s sorta the opposite. You know how when you’re little you make up scenarios of what your life will be like when you grow up? You picture this amazing person that will love you entirely, mass amounts of friends that you’ll spend forever with, a future. It’s funny how once you do “grow up” nothing is like you imagined it. I thought i’d have something different. I thought i’d be surrounded by friends in college, maybe experience parties, have a boyfriend, a job, a purpose really…. I’ve always been the put together girl, the good responsible daughter, caring sister, loyal friend, and hardworking student. The quiet girl who people liked because she was always welcoming and had a smile. I am that girl. I’ve lived a sheltered/safe/quiet life. I’ve never been in trouble, never wanted to disapoint anyone. As I’m looking back and thinking I’m not quite sure what I have to show for that. Sure I made straight A’s in community college, I have a few good friends… but not much else. I feel like I just go through the motions without REALLY living. I keep waiting for a sign for a signal for something to swoop in and change my life. Instead I’m the girl, the same girl as in high school, alone on Friday nights. I’m the girl my parents can depend on to be home because it’s not like I have anything else to do. I’m in my early 20’s and feel about 40. I’m so worried about what people think that I just stay in the background quiet. And sometimes I’m really ok with it, I am. Then other times it sorta hits me like a ton of bricks. You know that expression “late bloomer” I feel like that but a late bloomer in LIFE……

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Posted 2 days ago